I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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