Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
