so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I am midnight drunk by noon
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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