There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
