Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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