We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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