Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Randomize
