Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
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