I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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