Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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