I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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