Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
