No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
