exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pray to the hookup gods
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
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