he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
