i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
