Your tits are I can't wait for
i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
as a side note pls kill me
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
