I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
She's the barista slut.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
