How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
Randomize