You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
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