wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize