Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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