we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
