And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
