Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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