Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
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