Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
