Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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