Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
