Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
