you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
