Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize