Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
