I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
