If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
