I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Walk of Shame today included voting.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
