Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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