This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
