I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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