problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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