its not stalking. its research.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
