She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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