Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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