My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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