last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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