I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize