just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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