On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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