hell yes lets make some ravioli
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
