Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Randomize
