I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
We have started to decorate penises.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize
