Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
