Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
She's just so happy...and so naked.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
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