5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
