someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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