Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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