hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
