I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize