would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
This is the high leading the old right now
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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