Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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