I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up