With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
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