i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
