we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I wish they made helmets for livers.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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