He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
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Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
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I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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