dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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