my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
