I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She liked it
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year