so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He passed out mid-signature
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.