She's JV to your varsity
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...