Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.