i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often