No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
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But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
pray to the hookup gods
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.