Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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