do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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