i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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